Day 6 of 365 days


Once i got to the theater, I was in total denial that I would be performing that night.  I walked in and saw M.  We went into the theater and set up lighting and sound cues.  I did a run through.  Still total denial.  Tried to warm up.  (Note to self:  Build a personal warm up)  Audience came in and, all of a sudden, I heard the curtain speech. 


I grab and we go to the wing and hide behind the curtain.  15 seconds before I go onstage, I give myself a little pep talk and treat myself to some oxygen.  The last note I have always given myself before I go onstage is best related by this quote:


Master your instrument. Master the music. and then forget all that and just play
— Charlie Parker

I smiled to myself as I sat on the stool in the dark.  Really smiled big, in spite of myself.  A real, honest to goodness, smile that came naturally from inside my being.  I didn't pull the cormers of my mouth up.  I didn't smile for anyone.  It was a smile of delight.  A rare smile expressing my true being.  I wasn't saying cheese for the camera.  I smiled without a thought about my teeth.  I smiled.  I didn't smile to make anyone happy.  It was a simple and pure smile.  It felt great.  Underneath the smile,  my thoughts whispered "yeah, let's go"