Performance Artist - Actor - Maker of Stuff

52 Weeks of No TV

I gave up TV for one year in 2012.  Instead of TV, I made some THING every week.  In hindsight, it was a fecund year. (oh yeah, I used the word fecund)  It was the basis for many projects including my full production of Plasticland:  A Better Place.  It spawned unlikely artistic collaborations, built creative confidence and I got to smash a TV with a golden sledgehammer.  I haven't combed through this blog in awhile but I wanted to peruse it for inspiration.

Week 20's thing - A Re-dedication Scheduling Thing

I haven't watched any television for 20 weeks, which is quite a feat.  

Unfortunately, I sense that my energy has been lagging and the novelty of the No TV project is starting to wear thin.  I have to re-inject some life into the thing and make it vital again.  This is how I feel about this blog, and this is how I feel about me right now.

* * *

Last year at this time, I was in dire straits.  I had taken a dream job and I was working my hardest on an amazing show with the greatest people I could work with.  Out of the blue, I was suddenly part of the Sleep No More team and it gave me great pride to be part of the gang even though I wasn't acting in the show.  I was management. 

If you thought you found your dream job and then you hated it, what would happen to you?  Me? I was torn.  Acting in opposition to your gut is not an easy path.  There was a battle going on between my head, my heart and my soul.  I was floating around in the middle of this tempestuous ocean without a paddle, utterly helpless and alone.  No one in my life could understand the confusion I existed in daily.  Everyone was very proud.  

I assured myself that the first few weeks were an adjustment period I needed to fight through.  I flung myself at this idea over and over again.  I enjoyed a few successes.  I told myself that I would be just fine.  I became more and more depressed.  When I wasn't working, I was crying or I was comatose in the dark somewhere.  I didn't want to see friends or talk to anyone.  I went to work and tried to shove myself into that square hole.  The job was an awesome job.  It just wasn't for me.  

In the afternoons, the actors would come in and congregate in the ballroom to warm up.  I was so jealous of their easy laughter and camaraderie.  I knew exactly what that felt like and I missed it. I wanted to be the Talent.  I wanted to stretch in the ballroom.  I wanted to go to rehearsals and bitch about my fellow actors.  I was not management.

I quit.  I thought I was crazy. You thought I was crazy. I thought I was giving up.  I worried about disappointing everyone I knew.  I didn't want to do it anymore.  The war had ended and practicality had lost again.    

That was one year ago.  The day after my last day on the dream job, I went to Barbados for my wedding (which was glorious) and I came home unemployed with my brand new life with my husband in mayhem.

Giving up your dream job means you get to dream up a new one.  

Of course, my dream job is making things.  It makes me crazy, depressed and comatose as well but I'm making my own thing.   

Recently, I've been lax with myself.    

I have a performance on Feb 3/4th 2012.  I don't care if it's only 13 minutes; it's a damn performance.  I will dip into the discipline that has defined my actor's training for the past couple years.  I'm going to put my head down and get to work on my one-woman show.    I re-dedicate myself to my No TV blog.   

Please excuse Kym Bernazky from life for the next couple of months.  She is going to be tackling a new challenge and needs rigor in all parts of her life, which includes...

                Saving money

                Plasticland

                Yoga

                Eating

                Running

                Work

                Sugar

                Alcohol

All that starts Oct 13th.

Stay Tuned for Week 21 - A Thing in New Orleans

Your favorite TV eschewer,

XOXOX

Kym 

 And also - Happy Anniversary to my supportive and amazing husband.  Being with him is the easy part.  It was a nice day for a white wedding.

 

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